Post Holiday Ramble

Well the turkey day is over and I have been at work for a hour now. I had to come in at 6:00 am this morning. I am lucky because I stayed last night with my family so my daughter didnt have to be by herself today. It's also convenient for my LR's mother to pick her up since she lives about 5 miles from them. I should be ignorant and hurry back after work then take her all the way home so she has to drive a 1/2 hour to get her. I believe to much in karma to do that shit though.

Lets see how did yesterday go? First off I was up at 6:30 with this damn cold that doesnt seem to be going away. So I figured I would go ahead and finish making the couple of things I was suppose to bring for dinner. Talked to my Aunt for a little bit on the phone and then headed to the shower. LR called and said he wanted to wish me a happy holiday. Barf!!! I politely asked him if he was going to his sisters (they do every year) he said "no" he told me he didnt want to answer any questions or deal with them. What the fuck??? I asked him what questions would be asked we havent been together in a couple months and he has been out of the house for 1 month now. So what else could be asked? He simply told me that he wasnt dealing with it or taking there calls. I guess he wanted me to feel sorry for him, that isnt going to happen anymore. I know to much now of all the shit he has pulled on me and how much of a dog he really is. He did speak to our daughter and tell her a Happy Thanksgiving. I am wondering how long he is going to go before he takes and does anything with her. Even just to take her to dinner. Men are such scum when it comes to separation and divorces. I guess it was a good thing when we were together that I basically did it all when it came to her and everything with the house. Because since he has been gone nothing has really changed except the arguing and seeing him trashed etc. Its just calmer. I feel for my daughter though. However she hasnt asked to see him either. They say you marry men that remind you of your father and I think I have done just that. Fuck!!! I really did marry my father.

Once I got to my aunt and uncles for dinner my cousins who are 21 and 24 were drinking and already about half shit faced. (isnt family great?) The one ended up passed out by 4:00 pm. Then one of my aunts got in my face. This is the aunt who ran into LR's mom and now on her side. She said how can she be lying when she was crying right in the middle of Walmart. She told me that the "other woman" is lying to me and that LR's mom went to see her to tell her to stay away from him etc. First of all if that is true how come his mother hasnt called me and told me this all isnt true. And what does the "other woman" have to gain by lying to me? I went to her and she had another man when LR went and tried to get back with her. You have to read my earlier post to get the whole story. Point is I dont believe LR's mom. So turkey day was something else.

I am hoping after work I can go home take some Nyquil and then sleep and wake up and be all better. I know that is just a dream but I really want to go out and see this band tonight and just have fun. I sooooo need it. Then the rest of the weekend will be a kid weekend and decorating for Christmas. I need to find a man to help me get the tree. Guess LR was good for something besides sex. (speaking of....damn I miss sex...sigh)

Oh well I need to change that subject before I head out tonight and do something I will regret. I really dont need all that drama in my life. Its already fucked up enough. Ok time to get back to work. I hope everyone had a great holiday.

Thanksgiving Bouquet

I am still sick as hell and praying I am better by the weekend. Last night after work I stopped at the store and picked up the items I am suppose to bring for the big day. I was dying the entire time. But I made it. Of course once I got home I had to make dinner and straighten up a bit. When I was finally settled and praying for the couch and my blanket another knock at the door came. So I go to answer it and what do I see but the dude up the streets little nephew. He hands me the bouquet of flowers and says who they are from and then runs off my porch. It was the funniest damn thing I have ever seen. He was so cute. You could tell he was nervous. Now I am just not sure what to think of this. I am suppose to go out with him and a few other from the bar this Saturday. I didnt think anything of it, really, I just thought OK a bunch of friends all hanging out. Now I am wondering. Come to find out I cant go this Saturday as I am sure I will have my daughter. LR's mother actually called yesterday and asked my daughter to come spend Friday night with her. So that will be my night out as I will be getting my kid back Saturday afternoon. She kinda ticks me off. Waits months to call and then because its a holiday she wants her. But I wont have to deal with her much longer since they are moving. I have vented enough about that fucked up family. I just put up with their shit for my daughters sake. I really wanted to take that phone and tell her what the fuck I thought of her. Its the holiday season so I am being nice and not saying anything. "If you dont have anything nice to say dont say anything at all" thats the motto unless I am blogging to you all or I just cant stand it anymore.

So lets all pray tomorrow goes smoothly for us all. Peace and Happy Thanksgiving

More doctors

This morning started out like total shit. I woke at 2:30 am with my throat killing me and I couldnt go back to sleep. I didnt go right into work as I had a scheduled doctors appointment at 9:00 am for a colposcopy (not sure if that is spelled right) . So my daughter woke up and as her and I are getting ready (her for school me for my appt) the phone rings. It's LR....fucking great just what I need I feel like shit, I am not looking forward to this appointment and now him. He just called to say he missed his family etc. What the fuck. Dude you just told me a week ago that his daughter and I need to leave him alone and that he is done with us etc. I told him that I am done fighting with him and that we need to settle the house and other bills and just move on to our seperate ways. He says he knows and when we he went to hang up he told me he loved me. I just sighed and hung up. He is a damn mess. Oh and he spoke to our daughter for like 2 minutes. Whooo hooo.

On to the colposcopy. I had a bad pap smear come back so they had to take chunks out of my cervix to check for cancer. Those of you who have had this procedure know that IT FUCKING HURTS AND IT SUCKS BIG TIME. I am still in pain. They warn you of this. It already sucks that your feet are in the air spread wide open in a doctors face then it has to hurt on top of all that. The good news is I now have to go back every 6 months instead of once a year. Cervical cancer runs in my family so its great that this is passed to me in my early 30's. Story of my life.

Just another lovely week for me. I am sicker than hell my nose is running down my face. I cant breathe and my chest and throat really hurt. I cant wait to run home and climb back in bed....oh shit wait....there is homework to be done, dinner to be made and then dishes...ahhh the joys of being a single parent and the only responsible party my child now has. That fucker I married I could just kill some days.

Its been awhile.

Its been a few days since my last post. So I am trying to figure out what in the hell has happened since then. First off since I last spoke with LR on Wednesday and he said for us to leave him alone and he is getting out of mine and my daughters life we have not heard a damn word from him. That really pisses me off since he is that immature. I feel really sorry for my daughter. I of course did not tell her that her father has said that. I figure let her think he is just busy. So no news on him. Its been kinda nice to tell you the truth. It is raining here and he doesnt work in the rain so I am wondering if he has stopped by the house knowing we are not home. Ugghhh. Snooping and stealing soap again. LMAO

The visitor that stopped by my house hasnt been back and I didnt see him while I was out this Saturday. I kinda thought I would. But he didnt come in. However I did see his brother there and he also seems interested in me. Not sure if that will ever go anywhere he is nice and all but I am just not sure. I was able to get out because my daughter wanted to go stay at my uncles and play on the Internet and chat with her friends. However if LR knows I went out I would just be accused of dumping her so I could party. What he doesnt know is I was trying to talk her out of it because I did go to work and didnt really have any plans. But she really wanted to go. Never mind that he hasnt gotten her or done anything with her in months. He has allot of room to talk. So I stopped at the bar to sign the books and ended up staying out until 1:30 am. There was a bunch of people in there. Even my daughter little boyfriends Mom who is awesome and we get along great. So we chatted about the kids and had a few drinks and shot darts. Ended up having a great time with everyone.

So its the holiday season and work is crazy and its time to spend with family and the usual BS that comes with that. I will be of course going to my families for Thanksgiving and I am hoping LR's family doesnt start any bullshit. I am wishing for quiet and happy holiday. We all deserve it.

Man I am realizing since I havent talked to LR I really dont have a whole lot of bitching to do any more. This is kinda nice. So this is what a regular life is like. Ahhhh

About last night

After the ordeal I had yesterday when I got home I had a very interesting visitor stop by. While I was in the kitchen making dinner my daughter comes running and says there is someone knocking on the window by the front door. So I tell her to just stay in the kitchen with me. Sometimes the boys in the neighborhood do that to get her attention. The knock occured again. No ones knocks on front door that really knows us they come to the back kitchen door. So I go to the door and low and behold its a guy whose mom and dad live up the street just a few house and that I have seen out and about. LR and I actually partied with him and his girlfriend about 6 months ago. So I went out and talked to him. He seemed really akward. I waited to see what he wanted, he starts out by saying he heard LR and I were having issues and he hasnt seen him around. I said yes that it the same old shit just a different day. He explains that him and his girlfriend also busted up a few months back. He asks if I think its truly over for LR and I. I explained yes that I think there is just to much water under this bridge. We talked awhile more. He then ask me if I want to go out sometime. I just about fell over. This happened last time to. When LR and I split the time before this one of his co-workers stopped by and asked me out just a couple weeks after we split up. I said no to that one, a co-worker that is weird. I just cant believe men. Its that or LR really has no friends. Because in my eyes that takes big balls.

So tell me, all who are reading this should I go out on a date with this guy???? He is good looking. Has his own place and of course a job. He has two kids a boy (10) and girl (5) they live with mom. I have already met his boy he is a good kid. Also this guy doesnt really drink so that is a plus. He is a good dad from what I have seen. I am just not sure. I left it open with him.

Leave your comments please.

OMG! My crazy F'in life continue

Lets see where do I start. Okay.....last night I left work and went home to do the usual routine. Dinner, help kid with home work, straighten up, and did a load of clothes. I then proceeded to the kitchen and was working on trying to fix my cell phone. Mine decided the face of it just wanted to go black. So I am taking out the sim card and turning off and on the phone. When at the kitchen door LR just walks right the fuck in. No knock, no phone call, no nothing. So I automatically start bitchin. You see when I moved out the last time I never once did that. Matter of fact I didnt even come to the house until after his accident and then he couldnt drive to meet at the park and ride where we met to exchange our daughter. He says he stills has his name on the house etc. So the F what! He could have still knocked. So we argued, he got pissed again when I asked for the cell phone back. He has a work phone not like I left him high and dry. I am not paying for his social life. It got thrown at my neck. Ass hat!!!! But I got the phone back. He then went looking thru the fridge and the bathroom. I couldnt understand until this morning when I went to take a shower. The god damn bar of soap was missing. WTF right? Why would he take the soap. So I had to get out of the shower and get another bar. I hate that shit. The one he took was almost brand new. He slammed the door leaving last night and called me a skank. Whatever. Because I am getting out and screwed so much lately. I wish....

Ok today's drama. First off while apologizing to my daughter about the fight last night between her father and myself she asks me if I knew her Dad had gotten drunk in a bar and beat up. I said "yes how do you know" She tells me the kids in school know from there parents and now they are teasing her about it. Great, small town living. So I get a call at lunch time from LR's mother first. She left a message asking about a present for our daughter for Christmas. I tried to call her back she didnt answer, I answered her question and hung up. Then LR calls and leaves a message about me, my cousin and his X. The one I went out with on Halloween. So I call him back. Come to find out my aunt saw his mother and told her that yea we had all gone out. What the fuck was she thinking????why tell my business she knows I have issues with his mother. Then we get back into a argument about the same old stuff Then I tell him what our daughter told me this morning. His response to me was "well if you are going to treat me like shit and be a bitch and she is embarrassed of me you can both just stay the hell out of my life" and he hung up. Real mature right? I try to call him back he answers and told me its a work number and never to call back. So I sent a text message and told him our daughter did not ask for this and that if he decides not to talk to her that is on him. I havent heard a word since.

This bullshit is just never ending and the people who are jumping into this shit just need to stop it because they are just making it worse. Now I have to sit and wonder if he will get drunk and do something to himself. Because that is how he is. I should have never told him what my daughter told me but he had me so flippin mad that I had to make a point that his actions affect not just him. This just sucks. I hate the drama and just want a fresh start some where else.

Until tonight crusade. Man I hope its quiet. However it wont be because I am not done with my aunt yet.

I Am Such A Bitch Lately

I know I have been a complete and total bitch towards LR and a few others the past couple days but I cant imagine why....Hhhhmmmm. He was even stupid enough to send me a texts and ask me if I was having a bad day and why am I treating him like this. He is so fucking stupid. He is the only person who has caused this. I simply kept coming back because I believed in him and wanted my family back. I admit I was stupid but still this boils down to him. Then you top it off with him and his family not seeing my daughter. Then I really become the bitch. Here we are at the holidays and I cant wait to see what happens then. You can bet your ass I am not answering the phone or any message from any of them.
I could also be feeling on edge and bitch because damn it I havent had sex in a looonnnnng time. I really need a good romp in the hay with a guy who doesnt speak. LOL.
The hate I have is because I have to be the responsible one while he is kid free and partying it up and NOT paying bills, homework, meals and taking the kid to school events. I hate that he can be the single male with no responsibilities. He hasnt paid any bills for real. So I am waiting on notices to start rolling in. It wont be long and I will be in social services for child support. Not sure how long that will last though. I am sure he is on the verge on losing his job. Yes ladies and gentleman I married a fucking loser. The best part is he keeps asking me to help him and take him back. Like he is a homeless dog. Im sorry he needs to get himself help for all the drinking and womanizing he does. The woman come because of the drinking.
Last night I didnt answer his calls and this morning I didnt answer his text message that had animation of a cartoon character blowing kisses and saying "good morning my family" what family is that? you fucking douche?????
The only good that came out of this is my beautiful smart daughter. God how I love her and am happy she is doing so well. She knows her father is a drunk.