No Alcholol

Okay - This is week number two were I have not drank. I can tell you it has been good. With the state of mind I have been in I figure this is for the best. I am already a very vocal person and express my opinion openly. If you ask me a question I will answer you honestly. However I tend to speak out when I am drinking to my husband. That is not a good thing with the way our relationship has been going. This past weekend I was very happy that I did not drink. He was way over the top with it and hard to handle. If I had been drinking it would not have been good. So I figure this is for the best because I can afford to leave and I have no where to go. So I will just keep my cool and not drink. However last night was of course Friday and he shocked me by not going out. He did drink but just did it at home. This is always better than him being on the roads and out at a bar without me.
I have been thinking that he isn't happy either. The reason for this is many. The over the top drinking. He made a statement on our 15 year anniversary which was Wednesday that there is only 7 more years to go (that is when our daughter turns 18) and he has been saying allot lately that I don't even like him. So I think he is pushing all the blame on me. I do like him and love him but I just cant stand all the drinking and carrying on he does. He went years where he didn't do all of this running and I really was enjoying it. Then the affair happened and it has just gone to crap after that. You can also tell by our anniversary we didn't even really acknowledge it and I thought 15 years was suppose to be one of the big ones. He didn't even remember it until he got to work and had to look at the date. Oh well right. Maybe everyone is right high school sweet hearts never last.
Don't get me wrong when he is not drinking heavily we really are best friends. I know him inside and out and I love him to death. He has been by my side thru the toughest times in my life. But I just think he is on a mission to destroy himself. I hate thinking about that.
Anyhow it's Saturday and I am hoping the weekend turns out better than the last one. Cant wait to run around with my daughter all weekend and enjoy the sunshine.
Adios!