Pressure is stressfull.

I have no idea where to begin. This weekend was so fucking unbelievable. Not in a good way either. I know I said I was going to lay low and not drink and just basically chill out this weekend. However, of course I did not do that...
Saturday while I was working LR called me and asked me to meet him when I got off of work so he could shop for our daughter. So I did, he met me in the parking lot at my job and I rode over with him. I figured we could hopefully talk and get the child support and bills settled. I knew as soon as I got the in vehicle that I made a bad decision. He has turned into a maniac. He was hateful and drove like a idiot. Acted like he didnt care what happened. We make it to the mall and walked in silence he got a couple things and then said he was thirsty. So we go to a restaurant in the mall and sit at the bar and he is ordering whisky, plain on the rocks. Its not even 1:30pm yet. Un fucking believable. He hasnt changed at all. If anything he has gotten worse. So of course we start bantering back and forth and I get blamed and told I am sleeping with someone. Ok you shit head you just spent a weekend with another woman, but he claims they didnt sleep together. I am not that fucking stupid. So he takes me back to my truck and then peels wheels out of there and then jumps over curbs and grass to leave the lot. Great this is my place of business. I just headed home.
Once I got home my uncle calls and says my aunt from down the road is coming up and I should go to his house. (my aunts and uncles are very cool not old and we all party together) I told him no but they kept calling me and so finally I gave in. Peer pressure is a bitch. Once I got there we head over to the bar. I use to hang out there when I lived near my uncle when LR and I split up. LR's Mom and step Dad go there to as they live close to by as well. But that didnt worry me as LR told me he doesnt talk to her anymore and he was suppose to have plans. So we are sitting there and sure enough who walks in but LR and his mom. SHIT!!!! so we pick up and go to leave and LR stops me and says no he will leave. I kept on walking out and so does he. My family and I leave and head to another bar down the road. I have also been in this bar with one of the guys I was seeing 2 years ago when LR and were split. My aunt jokes about who else is going to show up. And sure enough in walks my ex. LOL he walks right on by and uses the bathroom and then walks out. I just couldnt believe my luck. I knew I should have just stayed home. I called LR's mom and ask her if LR came back to the bar and she said no. So we all headed back to that bar as it was closer to home and we all knew people in there. The rest of the evening was fine and I ended up having a good time just hanging out with my family and friends. Plus I got to flirt a little bit with this guy I just adore. However nothing is going to become of it because he knows my life is a mess and just cant go down that road right now.
Sunday I wake up and head home so I can get my daughter from my step-mom. We just chill for the day and made dinner etc. Then LR's mom calls and tries to get me to let LR come home. I can understand she wants him to move back home because she hates were he is living and she wants him to get help etc. But she doesnt understand that I cant do it. My marriage has been destroyed. There is no trust there. How can I forgive everything he has done. He isnt going to change or he would have by now. I cant just say "ok come home everything will be ok" because it wont. What is changing? Sure he says he loves me and he wants to come home. But if he truly loved me he wouldnt have destroyed things AGAIN. Yes my life is hard and I have no idea where I am going to live in a couple months and yes it would be easy to just say ok come home. But for some reason this time I just cant do it. I have done that to many times. Maybe my love for him is gone. I dont want anything to happen to him and I think he is the biggest douche alive. But I hate to see him this way and dont want this for him. I wish I had all the answers but I just dont know right now what to do and I hate all the pressure I am receiving from his mother and him. He called me this morning and late last night saying he loves me and wants this to work. Its literally making me ill. I HATE PRESSURE. Leave me alone fuckers!!!!