This is such shit

This has just been a shit ass week so far and I am not even half way thru it. Ok on Monday I meet LR's mother to pick up my daughter then I was headed to the mall to get her a new winter coat and outfit for her chorus concert. On the way to mall she informs me that while she stayed with my whacko of a sister in law on Saturday night that she, my niece, nephew and new born niece were all left alone while she and her man of the week went out for the evening. Now I know what you are thinking. My niece is 13 and my daughter is 12. However i dont leave her alone at night and I dont live on top of a mountain with no neighbors let alone with a newborn baby and some bad ass cousins. So I was not pleased or amused at all. Let alone if I was to leave my kid alone while I went out drinking they would run the fucking mouths about me. Then I find out that LR never did come visit her or call her once while she was with his family. He isnt exactly working on father of the year with me. It was a damn holiday weekend come on now.

Skip ahead to yesterday. I get a message from E stating that some guy called her company (ok this is were LR use to work and E is the one he had a affair with and now her and I are talking) looking for him and she stated she gave him my number so that he could get in contact with LR. She said it could be a job offer as he is with a competitor and use to work with LR on joint jobs. So I did, I passed the message by calling LR and I was pleasant and he called me back stating sure enough that this guy wanted a resume sent to him could I do him this favor since I have his resume on my computer. I did it for several reasons. One being the job he has could be ending soon and two this could mean more money for him which could mean he could help me out some more. Plus this could be what he needs to make him better. Then I got to thinking. LR is the type once I start being nice he takes it to mean more than that. Sure enough at 9:30 he calls last night stating he was thinking of me and he misses me blah blah blah. It turns into a discussion that he doesnt like and states that I havent had my child on the weekends since he has been gone. Which is bullshit. I turn it on him stating well you havent even seen your child since you have been gone. He procedes to tell me he isnt going to see her again and he feels he is a embarassment to her. Thats really fucking mature. I am sooo pissed that I cant believe I am married to his idiot. He thinks I am fucking someone. Which we all know I am not. I need to fix me before I drag someone else into my hell. I know he has so why is he on my ass and bringing that shit up. He hung up on me but before he did he started the whole suicide talk stating he cant do this and live like this anymore and that I will read about him in the paper. GREAT just what I need. I hate him for doing that to me. He knows my father did that and at the holidays. He knows how to get to me. I hate now that I am living in hear of that dreaded phone call I may receive. And I will blame myself because I am doing nothing.