Fuzzy Head

Yes, Ok, I know I shouldnt have stayed out late last night but I was having a good time and meeting new people. My daughter was with LR's mom yesterday and was staying the night so I was able to go the bar where they were throwing a NASCAR viewing party. I havent watched a race in over a year. So it was kinda cool. Got to see my friends and unwind. But yes I am tired now and just want a nap.

This weekend was nice. My daughter and I just hung out both Friday and Saturday nights. I took her to shop for a new outfit and shoes for VD day. I really didnt have the money but I am not having her go without because I am in a fucked up situation. I am really worrying about her. She was invited to a sleep over and she chose to just stay home and hang with me. I know when I was her age I would have never done that. I just dont know what to think about that or if I should worry at all. I am kinda thinking everything is getting to her and she just wants to be clingy right now. On the other hand I was happy to have her around all weekend. I didnt do any packing and I know I should have but my attitude over all of this has just been "fuck it" I dont want to do this and I hate having everything on me. Shit I dont even know how I am moving. I have no real help or trucks. I need men to help move the big items and I just dont have it. So I did nothing!! Its the wrong attitude to have and I know it.

As for LR he never called our daughter on VD day and that really pissed me off. However when I called LR's mom this morning he actually answered the phone. So that means he is at least there visiting her. I guess that is a good thing since he hasnt spent any time with her in awhile. I did tell him that its car insurance time again and that I need it by the end of this week. He told me he had to buy a battery and all so unless unemployment gets him more money he wont have it. I told him I dont care I dont have his half. I have to call them and see if I can only pay for my vehicle if he doesnt come up with his share. He is such a waste of a person.

This week I guess I am just going to have to buckle down and get some packing done and call some people and see if I can get help. Man I fucking hate asking people for help. It makes me feel like I owe them then. Especially men. But I have to do this. Its survival now.