Weekend Whirlwind

On Friday I was a little all over the place and not in a good state of mind since talking to the doctor and just over everything that is going on in my crazy ass life. So I went out and maybe I shouldnt have, because I did drink a little to much and I did drive. Before you say it yes it was wrong and should not have happened. I thought I would have a ride and things just didnt work out that way. When I arrived at the place I hang out I should have known the night was going to be crazy because there was a fight and people kicked out before 8:30pm. So because of my attitude and things not working out the way I hoped I went and hung out with E and her friends. Yes E is the girl LR had a affair with and also was the boss's daughter. I have told you all before that we started hanging out and so on. We did end up having a good time. Although her friend was throwing up all over the place. To funny! Who would have guessed we would be talking and hanging out like this.

Here comes the downward side were I started to have a break down. I get up Saturday saying "yea I am getting my taxes done" Thinking this is how I am going to move and put some money in my pocket and start over. Nope!! not at all. I actually owe $1,000 now you tell me what in the hell am I going to do. I thought filing separate and claiming my daughter I would be in the good. However, because I took out my 401k (and yes I took taxes out of that) it threw me into a higher earning tax bracket. So I owe. When I got into the car I literally started to have a mental break down. How in the hell am I going to be able to move? How am I going to be able to afford to pay my taxes? What in the fuck am I going to do? I just couldnt take anymore. Then I am thinking shit LR is suppose to come and move his stuff out so I couldnt even go home and just cry. So I went to pick up my daughter from my step-mom and did cry to her explaining what had happened. God bless her. She took us to lunch and said she would help me with the money. So if I can find a place I can get first months rent and security deposit.

When we got home LR had not been there at all and still hasnt come by. So I am wondering were the "big boy" is and what the hell happened. He doesnt have a phone anymore so did he get fired and realized he couldnt move in with this guy or what? I still havent heard anything.

Sunday I said fuck it. I had to get out of this mood so we had free movie coupons and went to see a movie. While I was out E sent me a text about a apartment that is within the school district and close to were she lives. I called about it today and am going to see it on Thursday. It sounds like a dive but that is really all I can afford. Its a one bedroom so I guess if all goes ok of course my daughter will get the bedroom and I will hit the couch. Ewwhh. But I gotta do what I can. I really hate LR for making shit this difficult for me. If he would help me I wouldnt be a mess right now.

Any way that was my weekend. I am going to keep positive and hope this apartment will be alright and try to think of this is a rough start but still a new start.