Whew its been awhile

I understand it has been awhile since I have posted anything but my life seems to have become a little bit crazier. Not in a bad way this time. Just seems I don't have enough time in my day anymore. I kinda like it. It keeps me busy and my mind off of all of the bullshit in my life.

For instance, Friday was my 3 month check up. I show up of course your standard 10 minutes early in the hopes you can get in and get out early. Oh NO! the doctor was a hour late. This is not the norm for my doctor. But the one time I had plans he was behind. I wanted to get my oil changed and I knew the cable guy was coming. So I had to skip the oil change. So that is back on the to do list. Damn it!

Saturday I went to the race track and enjoyed myself. Caught some rays and caught up with some friends. Our buddy came in second place so I was happy to be cheering him on. Then my girlfriend called and said she found a sitter and did I want to meet up with her. So I ran from the track when that was completed to meet her. Ended up seeing old friends and staying out later than I should have. The Coors light guy seems to be a little afraid of me it seems. I am way more outgoing than he is.

Sunday was my day from hell. I mean that literally. My apartment was a fucking hot box. The a/c was not working and the skylights my landlord installed made it that much worse. So I was miserable so was my daughter and we got no sleep. Which made Monday horrible. Everyone hates Mondays anyway and now we are sleep deprived on top of it. This is the topper my computer took a shit on me to. So no computer for me. EWHHHH what a day.

So Monday I called the landlord and complained big time. He assured me he would bring me a new unit. We also had to go out to eat because lord knows I cant eat in the heat and I wasn't about to use the stove and make it worse.

Today I came home and landlord was here putting in new a/c and my cousin was right behind him. My cousin is a computer genius. But he said he couldn't fix this. My computer was old and needs updated I realize that. But how am I going to pay for it? My kid needs it for school and I need it for the usual stuff. So my step-mom came to my rescue again. Here I am with some a/c and a new computer. Whoo hooo

I can say things seem to be going in the right direction for me. I am very grateful for how far I have come. I am doing things on my own with a little help here and there but the one thing I have learned you don't need to hang onto that desire to have that someone in your life. Either a man or a woman. You need to find out who you are and that you can make it on your own.
I realize LR truly was holding me back in so many ways with his addictions. However I am starting to see that I maybe one of them. More about that at a later time. He is sniffing around again.

Cheers to all.

Its my Friday

Whooo hoo today is my Friday. However not for any fun reasons. Tomorrow I have a doctors appointment, its my 3 month check up for my nether regions. Ughhh, yep its that time again. So I am not really looking forward to that. But its suppose to be beautiful out and I will also get my oil change and other errands. So I will make it a good day. Maybe clean the truck.

Today LR called and was telling me he got a job. I scratch my head and think why are you telling me this????? He was telling me where it was and how we know the owners brother blah blah blah. I mean I am happy he got a job is no longer a complete piece of shit anymore and this will mean more money for my daughter. But I just cant figure out why he would just a couple hours after the interview. Then my aunt said well duh....he will now try and get you back. LIKE FUCK! that will never happen. She maybe right because he has just been way to nice and willing to do whatever for me. This is his pattern and I gave in before. I am not sure I even want to be his friend. Who the fuck knows. I will be nice and try to grow up a little bit instead of being bitter. Does piss me off that everything is working out for him after how much of a piece of shit he has been.

Any who I am happy and things seem to be going well all except for the money issues. But I am happy and am really looking forward to going to the track and watching the race cars and hangin with my friends. Hope I will get a tan at the same time.

I will hopefully be able o blog more soon and change the vibe a little bit. Have to let me know what you think about that.

Cheers!

Catch up time.

I just realized it has been almost a week since I have posted anything. Lets see how good I am at catching up on the recent events.

First off LR's mom called and stated she wanted my daughter on Saturday. Now mind you she is moving in the middle of May so this could be one of the last times she spends time with her before she moves. So of course I say yes but I do ask her if she is certain because I knew there were allot of bike runs and she has a bike. She assured me yes. So I made plans. Low and behold she backs out but before she did she called LR to see if he could watch her. This pissed me off because I dont want to involve him anymore than I need to. But he did it. LR's mom then picked her up from him on Sunday morning for my nephews birthday party. This was a good thing later on for me. So my daughter did end up having a good weekend in the end.

Friday evening my daughter and I went to a friends house and hung out and enjoyed the weather. Saturday of course I dropped her with LR due to his mother backing out. I then headed for my car poker run. OH MY GOD was that a blast. I rode with this older guy R who has turned out to be a really good friend he had a 57 chevy bel air that is bad ass. Had it going over 100 mph at one point. I loved it!!! Got drunk of course because that is allot of bar hoping and good times. At the last stop which is of course right by my house my best g-friend came and hung out with us all. I wasnt driving so I lived it up. It was also beautiful out. When we showed up at the last stop a guy I have had my eye on was in there. I think I spoke about him in a past post. I call him Miller light guy. Well he had a seat open next to him so me and my friend chatted him up the whole night. I dont know what it is because he really is no where near my type. But maybe that is what I need. He has a great job, is a little older and really has it together. He is clean cut so he may not like me because of my tattoos and the fact that I love harleys. Who in the hell knows. He has a daughter my kids age and one that is younger. Who knows what will happen. Im not really pressed about a man at this point in the game

In the end I had a great weekend. However...I got fucking sick as a dog Sunday afternoon with the vomiting and other end. It lasted thru yesterday so I missed work and I still feel like I got hit by a truck. It sucks ass. Karma got me for some reason.

Today I called the lawyer and am drawing up the divorce papers next Wednesday and I cant wait. Wish me luck.

Cheers!

And the attitude begins..

The last time LR and I split up 3 years ago he was getting our daughter every other weekend. She also had major attitude problems. This time as you all know he didnt see her until just these past two weekends for any over night visits. She was fine, no attitudes, no head butting between the two of us and her grades were perfect. Well low and behold I have begun to see the attitude again. You know the eye rolls and the hollering at me when I say something to her. I cant stand it. I tell her to watch herself and tell her to just listen to how she is speaking to me and that I am her mother not a dog or one of her classmates. It just gets worse. I have come to realize that duh its because she is seeing asshat again. Its obvious that he is saying stuff to her because of the comments she is saying to me. For example..."I dont know why you dont like her she is only 9 years older than him she isnt old" where in the hell did that come from? I didnt say that to her so he must have said that. I also got "whats your problem mom you are depressed and need Prozac" Ok come on now that is totally him. She has no clue what that stuff is. He thinks I am depressed because now when he sees me I dont speak a word I have been biting my tongue so I dont piss him off so he just signs the divorce papers when we get them drawn up.

Really I have been happy since I have moved into my new apartment. Just because its mine and its a new start. I have more friends now and am doing things. I am fine. Yes there is stress but my whole life had been stressful. But I am happier without him and his drinking and all the cheating he has done. I am better off without him.

Because of this...which the attitude really got bad Monday when he dropped her off. I have had major stomach pains. About 5 years ago this started when I was really stressed over some family stuff. It got so bad that I would vomit. (I know gross) Its back again. I havent gotten sick yet but the pain is awful. I need to find a way to de-stress. Need some warm weather and a beach. I hate him for changing my wonderful daughter. I wish I could stop the affect he has on her.

I just want to go home and relax and play games with my kid and hope there is no attitude tonight. I am looking forward to this poker run on Saturday. The weather should be perfect and I will be with great friends. Hopefully the pain with go away with some relaxation.

Any advice out there would be appreciated.

Cheers

Easter Weekend

Ahhh thank goodness its the start of a fresh week. I tend to hate holidays since I lost my parents and now that I have to split the days with LR I am really hating them. Dont get me wrong I am not sitting around boo whooing its just a little hard. My parents have been gone for awhile so I am use to that. I just miss out when everyone talks about going to there parents blah blah blah.

With that being said Friday night was allot of fun when I met up with my old co-worker and caught up with her. After that I met up with my two other girlfriends and continued happy hour at the local spot that I could walk to and be safe. It was blast. Did a shot that I swore I would never do but it was all good. Did not see or hear from P guess me telling him this was all wrong for me to see him worked. I will miss him though.

Saturday morning I picked up my daughter from LR and we went to my friends house and dyed easter eggs with her and her daughter and then ordered pizza and chilled out. Sunday or course was Easter so we went to my step-mothers and had a early dinner with her and her family. Then it was time for me to have her to her father. BLAH I fuckin hate dropping her off on holidays. Especially to him and his girlfriend where they can play house and act like they are good people. Its all a damn act and it makes me sick. Once I dropped her off I went home and just moped around.

I ended up watching Marley & me and balling my damn eyes out at the end. Good movie but damn did I cry. I needed a good cry. I truly believe its good for us. Emotionally clense as I call it. Would love to hear if others cried over it.

Now its the start of a new week and my step-mom on Easter gave me the money for a lawyer so now I have to get my ass in gear and get this divorce started. Man I cant wait.

My cousin just sent me a text asking what I thought of him going over to a girls house that he just met on Myspace. What the hell people? Are you fucking crazy. I told him he will end up like that guy in Misery. He cant afford to have his legs broke after the heart surgery he just had. Come on man meet her on neutral ground at first. God I hope he listens to me.

Cheers on that note.

So far, so good

LR actually took our daughter again. I am not sure if he is trying to make himself look good to the old hag or if he truly is trying to get better. Either way I think my daughter is happy she is seeing her father again and to me that is all that matters. He picked her up yesterday while I was at work and he will drop her off again on Saturday.

Since my daughter was gone I got some Easter shopping done for her. Damn! things have gotten expensive. But at least that is finished all except for the god damn Peeps. That is the only junk candy my daughter asked for and they are sold out at the Walmart so today I am on a mission to find them.

After that I went and spent some time on my friends porch drinking a couple beers and enjoying the evening. Its nice to have girl talk and have her little 2 year old paint my nails. Damn they look like hell didnt have time to take the polish off this morning. LOL. Then P called and I went to go meet him. Ahhh a friend with benefits. However I may have to kick him to the curb because I think I am growing out of this faze and wanting a real relationship. Could this mean my man hating era is over?

Tonight I am meeting a old friend for a early dinner and to catch up. We havent seen each other in years so this will be great. After that I am meeting a couple girls again for happy hour and then lord knows what P may come in and join us.

All in all its been a pretty great week. I am smiling again.
Cheers

Child support hearing & good weekend

Its been awhile since I have posted but I have been crazy busy. Lets see where to begin....

Ok the weekend. Well LR got my daughter Thursday and Friday night. I was kinda lost because I am so use to having her around. I was also filled with all kinds of emotions. I went from anger to happiness. The anger is a typical mother response not wanting her offspring around another woman who seems to be playing house with my ex and daughter. I lived near this woman and I know she hates kids basically and she is putting on a hell of show for my ex. The happiness was because I know my daughter missed her father no matter how much of a asshat he has been to her she wanted to see him.

So Thursday evening I rode on the back of my friends J's bike who is like a father figure to me and had a nice night meeting up with some of our friends. Friday night was me and my two girls friends meeting for happy hour. Saturday morning I worked and LR dropped off my daughter because he had to go to bar for a bike show. Not a big deal I had a cookout to go to and my daughter was more than welcome there. We were home early and watched movies. Sunday LR picked her back up for the day and I rode with J during the day with a bunch of others and hit some local hot spots and hung out and chatted. P called later and met up with us. I sure missed him because he always makes me laugh. I thought LR was going to keep my daughter and so did P as he was planning on staying the night so we could be "alone" but LR dropped her off.

Monday my daughter was sick so I stayed home from work. That afternoon LR started texting me asking me not to take him to social services the next day for our appointment for child support. That he wanted to start paying and not have to deal with them. What the fuck why wait until the day before???? So I said no and we went for the appointment yesterday. He did not seem happy. In the end he is paying hardly anything because he is on unemployment but its better than what I have been getting which is fucking not one dime. I should start to see something in May because the paperwork has to go thru the court system first.

I never did hear anything from him last night so I dont know if he is thinking victory or if he is pissed off. Because he is getting away with not paying for a whole month. I think its wrong they should have made him pay something right then and there.

So here is to another thing checked off the list and I am one more step away from being done with his ass.

Whoo hoo

Spring is Here

Lets begin today with some good things to talk about.....

#1 . My daughter won best writing story for her grade for all of 7th grade in our county. So she gets to go to a banquet and gets presents and her story published in a book. I am so very proud of her. Its ironic that she is doing the best she ever has and her parents are divorcing. Means I did the right thing. I took her out for dinner as congratulations.

#2. LR's vehicle got reposed on Monday night I heard. It couldnt have happened to a nicer person. HA HA. Karma really is a bitch isnt it? However his Old Hag of a girl friend gave him her old vehicle to use. So he isnt inconvenienced at all and now doesnt have a car payment. I would hate it if I was him though because now she really does have him by the balls because he cant leave her now he is totally dependant on her. If he wants to leave he is on foot with just his clothes. He sold everything else.

This week really has been long and I was looking forward to the weekend. P called and asked me out for Saturday and I said yes. However LR has thrown a wrench in that. Just like always. He told my daughter on Monday when he had her that she was coming to spend the weekend with him. Well I send him a text this morning asking for details on this weekend. He sends one back saying he was getting her Sunday. WTF?? We go back and forth and I say it must be nice to be a father and pick and choose what days and when you want to get her and change plans on her. Well he called me a bitch. Only a bitch when you screw over my daughter. He ended up saying he had plans for Saturday that he could get her Friday night and drop her off Saturday and then pick her back up Sunday. Again WTF??? So I say Fuck you just get her Sunday you suck as a parent. He then calls me and old hag is sitting next to him (this pissed me off) He ended up asking if he could get her tonight and drop her off Saturday morning. There is no school tomorrow so this is ok with me. What I said must have sunk in huh? I hate him not realizing up front what a dumb ass he is. So I have a few days without my daughter and a cancelled date. P could only go out Saturday night. Damn it. However I know my child is more important and I am ok with a cancelled date. I am just tired of him being a parent when he doesnt have better plans and that he has to ok everything with the new girlfriend and ask her about times for pick up and drop off.

So I wonder what I will do with my time???? Probably nothing.