Weekend is here....

This week has been such a roller coaster ride. LR and I are of course still on the outs. However now he has turned into just asking for sex all the time. There is no "Hay I miss you" or " I love you" its just simply him wanting sex. He also continues to think he is the victim and he did absolutely nothing wrong. So I just blow him off. This is harder than I thought just living with him. I am hoping this weekend goes a little smoother than the last.

I am still talking to the other woman. You know the old saying "keep your friends close but your enemies closer" Well that's the mission now. Its still in the back of my head that she can be using me as well. Whatever right?

LR's mom and I spoke yesterday and I told her I am really worried about him. The drinking and driving and suicide talk has me really concerned. I have this gut feeling that something awful is right around the corner. She sounded upset and like she knows its coming as well. I hate having to live my life this way because I know god forbid is something does happen I will blame myself again just like I did with my father. I have moments where I just want to give in and say we are OK now, but on the other hand I don't want the rest of my life to be this way. The other woman and running all night at bars is just to much. But worrying about him is also to much. A big part of me regrets coming back. If I didn't the other woman would be dealing with this.

Anyhow my daughter is doing great in school so I am taking her Halloween shopping this weekend and maybe to dinner tonight and getting her hair cut. Man she is growing up. She has this little boyfriend (I know the mother) and he bought her a pair of ear rings yesterday she was so happy and cant stop talking about him. She really is the sunshine in my life right now.

I wish anyone who is reading this a great weekend. (I have a feeling no one is) But if you are happy Friday.