Obsession

I have learned over the past few years with everything that has gone on in my life that I am having these obsessions in several areas of my life. I can't seem to let them go. I am believing that maybe everyone was right. Maybe I should have talked to someone when my Mom passed and then they even said it after my Dad passed. The obsessions only got worse when things started to go bad in my marriage. It's kinda like a secret I have, no one really knows my thoughts or some of my obsessions. I don't speak about them. They just said I needed to talk to someone because the deaths were a "tragedy". The reason I am saying this today is I am just tired of having them. However I just can't let go or stop them. As I am thinking today I stop mid thought and just went "your crazy" even told myself today is a good day everything is fine just stop it. But I just can't shake it.
I also have this thing were I put nothing past anyone and I trust no one. That has to stop to. But the closest people in my life. The ones you grew up learning from your family that you can trust and always depend on. They were the ones who screwed me over the most in my life. So I am not sure if I can let that one go or not.
Guess I am just waiting for someone to tell me my thoughts are not crazy that I am normal. At least I hope I am. I have been told that I am the strongest and most level headed smart person they know. But I sure as hell don't feel that way some days. Matter of fact I am waiting for the breakdown sometimes.