Ughhhhh!!!

Not really sure how I am feeling today. But its much like the title of this entry. Ugghhhh. I really hate LR right now, but on the other hand I know its his addictions that is causing all of this behavior. So do you feel sorry for him or just have this hatred?

I am choosing to just write him out of my life as much as possible. He is making me do everything on my own anyway and rarely sees our daughter. So I will continue with child support so when he does work the money I receive will come straight from his paycheck and I wont have to see him. I am also going to start packing and working on getting out of the house and have my ducks in a row when the foreclosure goes down on the house.

With all I have to do I lean more towards hatred for the man. This is definitely the last straw I cant get back with him and his sickness. I believe there is way to much water on the bridge. Matter of fact with all the woman, drugs and alchol I have to. I am just worried where he will end up. He is my daughter father.

I have been going thru this for 18 years. But thru this current off and on craziness 3 years where we have been splitting up. I am ready to find a really good guy and learn what a normal relationship is like. I think I deserve it. Not wanting to move in and get married but I just want a normal dating relationship. Someone to share things with and experience life with.

So come on guardian angel where are you?